Well, as if the week couldn’t get any better, my landlord has informed me this morning that I have until October 31, 2008, to move unless I’m willing to agree to a rent increase that goes into effect on January 1, 2009. Why we must vacate 60 days prior to the day of the increase I’m not certain aside from him claiming to want to fix the place up. He says he’s unable to afford the property taxes so he’s passing along the costs to us. He can afford hundreds of plants, new sod, fresh paint on both the exterior and interior of the building, and renovations of the apartments (my dishwasher will go to the next renter apparently), but not the property taxes. Go figure. Read the rest of this entry »
Archive for September, 2008
Mood Stabilizing
Not really in that good of a place still, despite the hormones finally subsiding. So I’m returning email to my international penpals, reading Jared Diamond’s book “Collapse”, and trying to just chill. Projects are due for class, a galpal is pretty stressed out right now, and my family are still not returning calls. Okay. So be it.
It continues…I perpetually feel like a lost Indian in search of a tribe.
A Mood
Not in such a good mood the last day or so. Just woke up and am still in a foul state of mind. Some would blame it on trying to quit smoking, but I’ve given into these urges (though still not inhaling) in order to combat these extremely negative feelings. Read the rest of this entry »
“Let us forgive but let us never forget”
In 1993 when the Waco Massacre occurred, I was only 11 years old. It wouldn’t be until around the age of 18, upon entering college and marrying, before I learned the details surrounding what happened at Mount Carmel. Prior to then, I knew only lies and propagandized footage just as so many others. But then I learned of the troubling, heart-breaking truth that lit the first fateful fire in my young mind, urging me to wake up. And now any chance I get, I urge others to look under the surface to learn for themselves.
Waco: New Revelation (12 parts)
A sect of Seventh Day Adventists…pay attention, they were Christian people. David Koresh was only their human prophet, not their messiah. LEARN for yourselves. Read David Thibodeau’s book on surviving the siege and life on Mt. Carmel.
Evidence missing. A theme to be repeated over and over and over and over again throughout this investigation.
Branch Davidians not allowed to leave the compound. Bill Sessions not allowed to fly out to negotiate directly with David Koresh. All politics. Yeah. Apparently.
Deliberate and careful? Riiight. That’s exactly what the FBI intended.
Death toll: 54 adults, 25 children, and 2 infants perished in the fire. Before blaming David Koresh and the Branch Davidians, you have to ask where the evidence went. Why would that disappear without a trace, giving us no way to learn the truth? The evidence was under FBI control. Read the rest of this entry »
Big Business Bailouts
Yeah, I’m aware. Not too surprised to hear it. I warned my friends that this country will experience an economic collapse and overhaul by some point in 2009.
Nationalizing 80% of AIG for an $85 billion bailout. Bank of America buying Merrill Lynch. Fanny Mae. Freddie Mac. Lehman Bros. Bear Stearns.
I see it on the news and have read about it in on the Internet.
People are freaking out, saying that America is being “stolen from us overnight.” But that’s not true. It’s been siphoned from the people slowly for over 100 years. This spans back to the 1800s, back to the passage of the 14th amendment that the corporations were able to capitalize on, back to the creation of the Federal Reserve. And the money flows to a few key families, puddling into an elite that now control Congress, the White House, and many of the major corporations. This is not new and none of it happened in the blink of an eye.
These are the kinds of things that happen when the public is sleeping…or too busy being razzled, dazzled and entertained by gadgetry, sports and celebrity gossip.
Fleecing did occur surely, but plenty went on right under the noses of multiple generations of people who either didn’t understand, didn’t care, or hoped to benefit from it themselves. Many did benefit from it…temporarily. But the middle-class lifestyle wasn’t sustainable.
We sold America. Some of it was fleeced, but much of it was sold or abandoned. Had we the people (especially past generations with the power to strike before the problem grew to the proportions we see now) done something to protect it, to protect ourselves, instead of worrying about ways to enrich only ourselves, maybe we wouldn’t be in the situation we’re in now. Who knows? Seems likely we’d at least be better acquainted with what we’re up against.
But now we’re witnessing a definite shift into corporatism, also known as fascism. In Italy, the government controlled the corporations. In the U.S., it’s difficult to tell who owns who and what since government and Big Business have their hands planted so deep in one another’s pockets. A circle jerk comes to mind. But that’s still fascism in the clearest sense, which is the merger of Big Business and government.
When people lose their homes, there’s no bailout. But when the airlines faced bankruptcy, the government rushed to the rescue, in turn paving the way for increased regulation and federal control. You’ll see the same thing with the Financial and Mortgage sector bailouts.
I wish this weren’t happening. The word is that this will lead to hyper-inflation that causes prices to go up and the value of the dollar to collapse. Previous posts on here discussed this, providing clips and articles.
Such a sad thing to think the United States may forever be changed. Not surprising that the process is speeding up since that’s how these sort of things work, but definitely depressing to be alive to witness the transition. I do not want to remain in this country, but I have no idea where else to go that might be better (or at least not shifting in this direction). Maybe South America…someday.
I’d recommend people watch this October 2007 economics seminar:
The Dollar Collapse:
“Dune” by: Frank Herbert
This is a very good book that I received as a gift from my brother and dad this year for my 27th birthday. At this time I am on page 489, reading the appendix. The story itself was fascinating, even for a genre I normally do not read, though select Science Fiction has earned a place in my personal library after reading Dune.
Now, the writing style was difficult at first to grasp. The patriarchal schemes and characters reminiscent of Medieval Eurocentrism humored me initially, but the story itself is so easy to read and sink into that eventually you become able to overlook this author’s bias. As the story progresses, it comes to appear less of a bias and more of a perspective. Class and race wars of the future intermingled with language and customs of what we commonly refer to as the Dark and Middle Ages of our era. I get it in that this is the same sort of infatuation that drives the Renaissance Faire and Dungeons & Dragons gamers, but that stuff doesn’t hold the same appeal for me. If it weren’t for the characters of the Fremen, this story would have been more difficult for me personally to swallow.
But then I adored the Fremen and their drive for ecological sustainability on a desert planet. Their connectedness with the planet and nature hinted to the cultural observations and recordings of Native Americans, aborigines, and ancient indigenous peoples.
The agnostic ruling class and what the author coined as the “Butlerian Jihad” intrigued me, smacking of the similarities we taste in our own lifetimes as we stagger ever closer to a new secular era. I can’t speak articulately about it, but it has become a topic of personal fascination.
Dune was written in 1965, though Herbert’s admirable foresight is noted throughout the story. He writes of the Islamic ancient religions, including Sunni and Shia elements, along with something called navachristianity (apparently explained in another book as the religion of the ruling class on Poritrin?) and other blended religions like Mahayana Christianity (Mayayana Buddhism crossed with Christianity) and Buddislam. Interesting stuff.
The story within the story of Duke Leto’s concubine, Lady Jessica, and his decision not to marry her for political reasons interested me. Later when Channi is denied marriage to Paul so that he may marry the Emperor’s daughter instead to secure his role as Emperor, she and Jessica find another common bond but are able to seek comfort in knowing that their roles as concubine will rightfully be remembered by history as the true marriages. That was very touching and the story couldn’t have ended on a better note, IMO. For as patriarchal and class/race-obsessed the people of the era (year 10,000+) are depicted by Herbert, he manages to come round and demonstrate appreciation for the female character roles. Now, it was still obviously a book written by a man biased in his view of these matters, but he did a very good job of stepping outside of the box and portraying a more sustainable and fair balance between the genders (medieval overtones and all). (Unlike, say, Shakespeare whose works I’ve never been able to stomach.)
And Herbert is able to describe humans and our nature without coming across as condescending and defeatist, which I appreciate. He can write of the fanaticism and blind worship of man inspired by religion, while also appreciating the human ability to be reasonable and logical and self-collected. He sees this combination of traits and interests, acknowledges the duality for what it is without necessarily expressing a preference for one over the other, knowing that both are necessary and needed depending on the circumstances. Also knowing, as Paul figures out, that they can’t be harnessed at will or stamped out but must be allowed to run their natural course as with the jihad he foresaw.
Interesting stuff. This story has sparked my imagination. It’s so infrequent that I take the time to read fiction novels – this being a rare treat. Thanks brother! I really liked this book. Very cool gift. 
Favorite Quotes:
“He who can destroy a thing has the real control of it.”
“How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.” – “The Collected Sayings of the Muad’Dib” by the Princess Irulan
“You who have defeated us say to yourselves that Babylon is fallen and its works have been overturned. I say to you still that man remains on trial, each man in his own dock. Each man is a little war.”
I am not hated
Hallelujah! This has to be one of the most humbling experiences I’ve ever encountered.
My ex-husband wrote back yesterday: Read the rest of this entry »
It’s called selling your soul
It’s a cool song with a good beat, but no, none of that’s what I want. It’s what many folks think they want, and it’s what the American Dream has become. Problem is this:
- Not everyone or even most of us have a snowball’s chance in hell of attaining it, let alone holding on to it. Remember, easy come, easy go.
- It’s an illusion…just another mirage in the desert. Drugs, money, big homes, big hot tubs and parties, lots of sex…taste it and you’ll find out how empty it really is. The types of people these things attract aren’t worth attracting in the first place.
Yeah, I know, my opinion matters not to anyone outside of myself. But still, it deserves being said. No disrespect to Nickelback intended. Shallow people aspire to be the envy of other shallow people. Yep. And what does that really get us? A whole lot of nothing worthwhile.
It’s intoxicating and alluring and none of us are immune to the intrigue, even if only temporarily. I do know. Mirages have that effect on people. The irony and humility hits home when I say this yet do occasionally partake in the parties and pleasures myself…but my purposes aren’t to get somewhere or to impress others. It’s to party for the night or weekend and then return to reality where sanity awaits. An illusion obviously isn’t fit for permanent settlement. My opinions anyway…
“I hate this shallow Americanism which hopes to get rich by credit, to get knowledge by raps on midnight tables, to learn the economy of the mind by phrenology, or skill without study, or mastery without apprenticeship.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.” — Hunter S. Thompson
“Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.” — Quentin Crisp
“Living in the lap of luxury isn’t bad, except that you never know when luxury is going to stand up.” — Orson Welles
“Poverty wants some things, Luxury many things, Avarice all things.” — Benjamin Franklin
“The lust of avarice as so totally seized upon mankind that their wealth seems rather to possess them than they possess their wealth.”
A Day Without Cigarettes
Yesterday (Monday) marked my first day without one single cigarette in about 1.5 years. Before then who knows how long? Maybe all the way back to the other attempts to quit smoking in 2000 and 2001. Rare is it that I am too sick to smoke, but even more rarely do I get the gumption to not smoke all on my own choosing.
Today I had only three cigarettes but couldn’t inhale the smoke due to still being sick. Basically they burnt between my fingers and I puffed a little smoke lightly into my cheek. Try to take a drag and it’s an instant choke session.
I crave the nicotine but can’t handle the smoke. Each time I’ve attempted to inhale since Thursday evening, it’s met with a violent coughing fit that shakes my entire foundation. No fun at all! Choking and gasping for air, literally. That and the illness flavors everything nasty, so the cigarettes taste and smell putrid now. Might as well capitalize on this while it’s around, right? So I am.
Since Thursday, I am happy to report that I have smoked (or lit, rather) less than 1 pack of cigarettes total. For someone who typically smokes 1.5-2 packs per day, this is big news!
The ashtrays have been rinsed and laid out to dry (one is now kept on the outside porch). The smokes are hidden from view. I crave having the cigarette between my fingers and lips, but become nauseous just remembering the nasty taste of smoking while ill with a cold. Ugh. To keep that in mind for the next 6 weeks may do me good, but it seriously grosses me out.
By habit, I look for them in their usually place, reach for them on the desk and coffee table, go to grab them along with my keys when heading out of the apartment…habits. I remember the way they used to taste years ago, back before the headaches but after the bronchitis and sinus infection spells, back when I couldn’t smell them on me and only barely could on others, when an ashtray didn’t seem that dirty of a concept. Funny how things change if given enough time… Had they stayed as they were then, I wouldn’t have desired to quit smoking, nor did I back then. But things have changed.
Costs went up. Concern for my health enters the equation more frequently as issues of mortality move away from abstractions and into reality. It’s just so difficult for a teenager to grasp what life may be like 10-20 years down the road. Fifty is a lifetime away. We have time, we think. We can change course before it’s too late, we tell ourselves. And then one day, time just catches up with you.
Normal bodies apparently can take more of a beating than mine. I am only 27 and already have had to scale back drinking thanks to stomach pains and now smoking due to asthmatic symptoms. Never have been into much else. All the people out there I know who can drink like sailors for 30 years, smoking cigarettes with reckless abandon for practically their entire lives…I am jealous. A couple of them even in my own bloodline, yet for whatever reason, this body just isn’t tough enough to handle it. It screams as though it’s being abused. *sigh* How irritating. My body is a pansy. Some would say this is good for me, but to them I’d say “Hey! I’m not trying to live the straight and narrow over here!” Just trying not to conk out prematurely and leave my folks and friends shaking their heads, saying what a pity and a waste my young life turned out to be. That’s all. If I could find a drug that I enjoyed without all the negative side effects and threat of imminent death, I’d be a happy camper.
“I want a new drug. One that won’t make me sick.” Here, here! Can’t drink! Can’t smoke! What can I do???
In fact, let’s commemorate today with a little Huey Lewis and the News:
I want a new drug
One that wont make me sick
One that wont make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick
I want a new drug
One that wont hurt my head
One that wont make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red
One that wont make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
I want a new drug
One that wont spill
One that don’t cost too much
Or come in a pill
I want a new drug
One that wont go away
One that wont keep me up all night
One that wont make me sleep all day
One that wont make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
I’m alone with you baby
I want a new drug
One that does what it should
One that wont make me feel too bad
One that wont make me feel too good
I want a new drug
One with no doubt
One that wont make me talk too much
Or make my face break out
One that wont make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you
When I’m alone with you
Newsvine
Return to Simplicity
September 26, 2008 at 4:35 am · Filed under On Religion & Beliefs, Poetry & Commentary ·Tagged poem, Taoism
When serving the public, use upright means.
When commanding troops in war,
employ the principle of surprise.
To win the world, do nothing to interfere with it.
Why? Because the more prohibitions and inhibitions
that are imposed on people,
The more difficult their lives become.
The more destructive weapons a nation or its people possess,
the poorer the people of that country become,
And the greater is the chaos that occurs in the world.
The more clever and crafty people become,
the more often strange things happen.
The more laws and ordinances there are,
the more criminals and dissidents will arise.
Therefore, the ancient sages of integral virtue said:
“I do nothing, and the people’s contention dissolves by itself.
I enjoy serenity, and the people rectify themselves.
I make no effort, and the people enrich themselves.
I have no desire, and the people return to simplicity.”
~Tao te Ching
(Found on The Thoughts For Awake People site.)
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