…being fussed at by a drunken local newscaster at my bar the other day? lol Yeah, that wasn’t much fun. And I mean she was drunk, sitting up there beside her big-wig husband, chatting with a barpal of mine. I didn’t know who she was, considering she’s on during the day and all, and perhaps telling her this was offensive.
All I did was walk in the bar to order my first beer for the evening and announced to my barpal that my degree credentials had finally arrived in the mail. That’s all it took and before I knew it, she was ranting about the criminal justice system and suggesting I pursue a law degree as her husband had done. Well…when you walk into a place in a calm mood, you don’t tend to see this sort of thing coming. You come in shivering and wanting nothing more than to relax and enjoy a brew when you’re hit with questions, from a stranger, about what you plan to do with the rest of your life.
She didn’t mean any harm; she was just drunk. But I wasn’t able to offer up a reply that could keep her from rolling her eyes or rambling off another string of questions. Apparently she once knew someone who chose to advocate for juveniles, so maybe I should do that too. Oh, no worries about public speaking – everyone starts out fearing it. What do you mean you’re not competitive? *Eye roll when I voiced desire to take my time to see what eventually grabs me, staying with my current entrepreneurial ventures in the meantime.* Her husband would look over and shrug and our mutual pal smiled helplessly at us both. I was just stunned and not in the mood for the sports bar inquisition on that particular night.
Finally I looked at her squarely and said that I’m not too happy with the state of my country right now and need a bit more time to decide where to go from here. She rolled her eyes again before blubbering “step up” a few times while being led out of the bar by her husband. The barpal patted my hand and explained she’d just drank too much. Odd lady. Don’t know her from Adam’s apple and she’s just going on and on. Perhaps she’s nervous about the economy (or the upcoming holidays) and this is just her way of venting? Who knows? Who really cares? My question is how come I attract such ‘colorful’ people every time I leave the house? lol
No worries. Maybe you had to be there but it strikes me as a mildly humorous story, if for no other reason than it wouldn’t shock anyone who knows me since this sort of stuff happens all the time in my world. hehe She kept puckering her lips in a weird way when she spoke, which totally distracted me from the unsolicited advice and opinions she was sputtering. Maybe I’m being rude, but hey, no one likes walking into the bar and being nagged, particularly by a stranger with a chip on her shoulder. She said I lack ambition and we knew one another for a total of maybe 15 minutes. Hell, to a point she’s right, but a lecture doesn’t help.
Ah well, the night was salvaged by hanging out with a few friendly federal employees. One (a young and cute one even) asked for my number toward the end of the night. Might be fun for a night out on the town, but we’ll see. My preference is generally for men 38 and up (an arbitrary age limit I assign based on mucho experience dating), though personal life dating has become such a joke that I rarely bother with it anymore. The job creates a major hindrance from the get-go, eliminating probably 85% of the applicant pool right off the bat. But then, it’s like I told a buddy recently: the kind of man who would dig my job isn’t the kind of man I’d likely be interested in. Then we have to wade through their quirks, hang-ups, sexual incompatibilities, and arrest records, which is the point where I generally lose interest.
Sometimes it feels like being a relatively conservative, traditional gal trapped in a lifestyle and working a job that betrays parts of my true nature and attracts freaks. lol Dating has metamorphosized into an occasional pastime where the primary focus is now to seek out honest, trustworthy people for potential friendship. Perhaps that’s what all dating is in a nutshell, with an emphasis on warding against foxes trying to climb in the hen-house and exploit a situation to the fullest. Some men hear “escort” and they see nothing but sex and sleaze, becoming unable to carry on any kind of relationship from there on out where they aren’t trying to get in your pants. Or worse, your wallet. It’s rude and I personally blame HBO for indoctrinating people with those stupid taxi cab confessions and Real Sex shows. My energy is burned up just in trying to avoid all the jokers.
Occasionally I meet someone who can become a buddy, at least temporarily. Over the last few 
weeks I’ve been hanging out with one barpal frequently, but then a one-night bout of PMS threw a kink into our cuddlefest. C’est la vie. He’s not my type anyhow. His company has been appreciated but his ‘unrefined’ nature is bewildering at times. Nice enough guy, but his confessions proved too much for me and my job (obviously) turned him off, so we’ve agreed to cuddle only and enjoy one another platonically. Until I became cranky, that is. lol Now we’re each doing our own thing, chatting briefly once a day. This gives me a chance to hang around the pad, watching movies, cuddling with the cats, catching up on email, and writing a little on the blog. It’s too cold out to worry with the bar and there’s beer in the fridge (not to mention being allowed to smoke indoors here at home).
Tonight my attention turned to investment websites and articles, particularly those referencing international stock purchases. No, I’m not in a position to invest in anything right now, but it is interesting reading the advice floating around on the Internet for benefiting during a recession. Much of it’s pure horse-hocky in my opinion, but there are little pearls of wisdom and truth scattered throughout to provoke thought on the future of our economy. There are no speculations worth making at this point unless you’re privy to inside information, and who wants to bet 8 out of 10 of those people are willing to fool the public if they stood to profit?
Scary times.
Though I can’t complain too much at the moment since I’ve been blessed with a number of good folks in my life, a couple of whom are incredibly dear to me. Knowing that they love me provides this weird calm at a time when otherwise one would think I’d be freaking out worrying about the future. Oh, it does concern me, definitely, but there’s only so much you can do to change these conditions. That’s not meant to sound defeatist but to say that we have to be more creative in our approach and learn to accept our limitations. “We” being the commonfolk trying to find our way from here on out and navigate the coming storms in the interest of ourselves and our neighbors.
This is the point I keep arguing (shame on me) with the AFSC members I volunteer with: they’re stuck in the 60’s frame of mind where holding signs and fundraising is how the game is played. The game has changed though, hasn’t it? Sure, signs can be useful, but they can also aggravate and divide. Funds are necessary but non-profits really need to get honest with themselves on how appropriately these funds are being allocated. But what else? Signs are easily ignored and funds are harder to come by. What’s next? Educating those deemed less “enlightened” doesn’t seem to be helping at this juncture because it comes off pompous and arrogant, pitting liberals and right-wingers against one another as philosophically and diametrically opposed. People are having trouble relating to one another and communication is breaking down. Where do we go from here? Is a movement the answer or will individual action where you strive to truly live as the example you wish to set prove just as, if not more, beneficial?
Our social systems are on the fritz, and the economy certainly can’t (and won’t) fix this. Losing a sense of solidarity, in my thinking, has far worse repercussions than markets collapsing. I spend a fair amount of time thinking about what my role should be in the coming years and ways I might contribute toward something positive (not just that which appears positive but something actually worthwhile that honestly feels right). What do you do with yourself in the meantime while searching for answers? Well, for now I work with what I have and eventually seek another part-time job to bring in additional income and pad my resume. Try to send some money back home in December for my family. Continue volunteering. Begin working out again at a gym to help burn off excess energy and get in a healthier frame of mind. Expand my day job business and send out more promotional materials in time for the holidays (ordered more earlier today as a matter of fact). And continue reading and learning, naturally.
You just do what you can to hunt down worthwhile information for educational purposes and work toward molding yourself into a person better capable (hopefully) of handling whatever future transitions that may occur. What else can you do right now?
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Slag Zombie said
My wife and I seem to attract people who want to cause trouble when we are in a bar. I have no idea what it is about us, because we never mess with anyone, but those people always seem to find us for some reason.
When I hit a crossroads or need to make a decision in life, I’ve found two things that work for me. First, I have to give up. I know that’s exactly the opposite of what every book, friend, family member, teacher, etc. will tell you, but when I just give up worrying about something, the answer usually comes to me shortly there after. Second, take a bath or shower. Unlike my first suggestion, I’ve heard many people mention this as something that helps them work out problems. Many times I’ve been in the shower and an idea just came to me out of nowhere. Seems crazy, but it works. I’ve heard different scientific theories on why this works, but really who cares, it just works.
wakemenow said
Hi Slag,
I agree with your first suggestion, at least in many cases. Coming to terms with your lack of control over the situation and accepting potential outcomes does free a person from worrying so that that they may instead make sense of what’s happening and become more cognizant of the opportunities being presented. It’s easy to get locked down in tunnel vision and become unable to see what opportunities are on the periphery or those that may come along if you learn to go with the flow. BUT, I’d also say there’s definitely a time and place to do your research or take a more proactive stance to better your circumstances.
Evoking the serenity prayer here, it seems to be about learning the difference between what we do and don’t have control over and then accepting this. To go completely off the topic(s) written above, I can see the downside of both extremes where some people fight a constant uphill battle in life and others flow downstream with any changing current, unconcerned about the possible outcomes and in some cases hindering their own progress by (naively or apathetically) becoming complicit pawns in someone else’s game. Perhaps there’s a time and a place for damn near every action and behavior.
I don’t accomplish much in the shower, but that’s just me.
I could see how this might qualify as a place for meditation, which perhaps it is for you. Some turn to prayer, some to writing and bouncing topics off of others (like me), some to exercise or yoga. Anything that serves to calm you and provide time to think things through is worthwhile in my book.