The Prostitute and the Priest
She walked her way to church one day
To atone for her life of sin,
To seek the help of a goodly priest
And a new life begin.She waited awhile with bated breath,
Would he deign to talk to one
Who sought to start her life anew…
Or would he choose to shun?“Father, I seek aid from thee
To cleanse my life of sin
And seek thy guidance to help raise
Young ones of my kin.Four young waifs I have loved,
They be not of my womb;
But I care as if they were my own
To save them from their doom.The God fearing soon turned away
From cries of those unfed,
And sought to save their own soul
By condemning mine instead.Those who chose to save my soul
All but sold my chastity,
Ravaged what was mine alone
Under the guise of piety.So I seek today thy wisdom
To aid me in my plight,
Plead my cause before the Lord
And tell me wrong from right.”He gave her then a piercing look,
“I know thee, wanton wretch,
Dare thou sully this holy abode
When thou art Satan’s get.The sins against thy own God
Weigh much against thy deed,
‘Hail Marys’ won’t mend the souls
Of the unholy ones in need.But for a mere paltry sum
The house of God may need,
I can plead thy case to Him
And Salvation be yours indeed.”“Know then this, Oh goodly priest
That thou labor but in vain,
To prey on those in dire need
Is much to God’s disdain.Man of God, pray pardon me
For knocking upon thy door
This alas, is the house of man
Not of the God I adore.And Man’s attempt at Godliness
Is the epitome of human conceit,
Blame the lamb for the preying wolf
To justify his own deceit.”
– Anwaar N. Hassan
June 26, 2005
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This is a poem I stumbled across tonight. The last bit struck me, so I’ve decided to share it on here. Seems somewhat fitting, for whatever reason.
“Man’s attempt at Godliness.” That right there has come up in discussions this week. If a person is unable to live above mere human vulnerabilities and temptations, he must be weak, right? Wrong. And whoever told you otherwise was a damned fool. While there is a time and a place to refuse to succumb to temptations and impulses, to deprive yourself of the beauty and wonder of life’s mysteries is a recipe for a long, miserable life.
You know what I think is weak? Living a double life where you can’t measure up on either side, living a half-assed, hypocritical existence. My friend, you’re cheating on the one love you profess to devote your life to, all the while speaking out of both sides of your mouth to me, only to follow with saying that your “second rung” is available for occupation. If you’re not true to your #1, and you’ve broken my heart as your #2, then what the hell is it all for? Does all that “divine protection” and “authentic love” from god protect you from this dilemma? I would say not.
I continue to ask myself what it was all for. Ego satiation? You remind me of how good you’ve treated me in the past, as if that somehow makes up for what’s come to pass. The illusion is shattered now. While you have helped me in the past, come off of the pompous talk and think for a minute what you have done. You’ve built up someone, not for their own benefit but for yours. Why? Selfishness, you tell me. But that’s not who you’re supposed to be! What happened to your sense of humility? No, your “self-hate” after masturbation and sex doesn’t count when your arrogance is what led you down this twisted path to begin with. Sex isn’t your problem, brother. It’s likely the least of your problems.
All I know is that our relationship will never be what it once was. My desire for you dimmed so fast over this past week that I can only shake my head and wonder what I was thinking. Romance isn’t an option for you, not only because of your profession but because you are seriously misguided and apparently emotionally unfit. Not that you were ever seeking romance anyway. You were seeking fun and thrills, like a typical hobbyist. Only you were supposed to be my friend, not one of them.
What happened to all that talk about restoring my faith in men by learning to trust at least one? One who promised not to be like the rest. You lied, and you did so to cover your own ass. Never gave a thought for the position you might put another in. Thanks for that. And now that the truth is out, I’m not sure what to do with it all.
How can I trust you again? Your bullshit talk about not being able to trust yourself around me when I never violated your boundaries or brought temptation intentionally your way. Is this my fault for not being more perceptive from the get-go? Was I supposed to see through you, predict this change years ago when I didn’t even know the real you? Does it simply not matter since I am who I am and you are you? That may be what you tell yourself, but it’s a damned lie and you know it.
You sought acceptance. Well, I gave that to you. But that wasn’t enough, was it? Have to just keep pushing for something more. I’m not sure what made you think you could get away with all of this either. That’s the trouble with an inflated ego…it gives the false impression that you are somehow smarter, slicker or a better actor than those around you. Well, what you’ve done is dumb, cruel and pointless. What was it all worth? You don’t care if you lose me? You hurt me, dammit! And you hurt yourself, you fool!
Has the world gone completely mad? Is trust just another illusion we cling to for sanity? You came to me because you trusted me, but what reason do I have now to uphold my end? Because I’m a “good” person? Brother, I never claimed to be that good.
It’s one thing to make a mistake, but as well as you know me, you didn’t have to follow the same damned script. All the way down to “don’t love you enough.” That was cruel. Cold-hearted. You wanted to hurt me? Well, you succeeded. Hope it was all you dreamed and more.
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wakemenow said
Maybe all that religious stuff we argue about isn’t some trivial side issue. Maybe it does matter because it reflects who we are at the core. You believe in receiving some special “authentic love” because of the position you hold, but that claim smacks of conceit and arrogance. How can you say that but then turn around and call us all equals? It doesn’t make sense, and I doubt you believe it for one instance.
If you are truly equal, why not come back to the so-called “real world” and live as the rest of us humans do? What would you be without your cloak? Maybe protection is the last thing you really need right now. In 2009, I hope you see the light, though I doubt their “treatment” will be of any real use. You aren’t suffering from some narcissism disorder; you’re just being a jerk because so far your tail hasn’t been caught. A big dose of honesty would do you good in the long-run.
The Priest - Eric Olsen [Fremont, NE] said
You’re right. A big dose of honesty would do me good. I am sorry for the way I treated you and I want you to be my friend. I love you!
wakemenow said
I’m going to allow this attempt to out yourself stand on the blog, at least for now. Though we’ve talked since then and you know this is only a small start in the right direction. A posting on a partially-anonymous blog doesn’t prove a whole lot, though I do appreciate the sentiment.
pastfirst said
A great poem. I can fully relate to your sentiments.
wakemenow said
Since this likely will be the only dose of honesty my “friend” will be doling out during this ordeal, I’ll go ahead and let the location stand too. No reason for me to censor his one attempt to be honest with others.
Not that I’m too keen on it being placed here. He’d be better off being honest to his own people and dealing with the real-life repercussions to follow instead of sliding in one obscure post in a blog few read. But oh well. It is what it is. I guess there’s nothing over here for me to protect, so might as well leave it be.