The events of the last week deserve to die down a bit. The tears dried up a couple of days back, and we’re doing what we can to work through this unfortunate ordeal. Not that it’s truly anyone’s business but this is a personal blog space for dealing with and discussing whatever life brings.
On other topics…I’ve been rearranging the livingroom furniture tonight and deciding where to hang pictures. A growing stack of boxes have been emptied and I just finished fixing the flimsy printer stand/bookcase with epoxy. This place is starting to come together. Hanging the art will be tricky, so I’ll wait for a friend to help with that. Ran out of smaller nails though, so it’s off to the hardware store tomorrow.
The new videos of the week were “The Matrix” and “The Real Dirt on Farmer John.” The second film was a gift from my Dad for Christmas and it turned out much better than expected. “The Matrix” wasn’t as impressive as I had hoped, considering it came highly recommended by a couple of guyfriends, but I’m still glad to have finally viewed it.
The movies I already own and decided to watch again for the umpteenth time were “Sling Blade” (a personal favorite), “The Usual Suspects” (a staple in any decent collection), and “Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life” (my favorite so far from the Monty Python crew). Had too much time on my hands these last few nights, and since the antenna hasn’t been fished out and hooked up yet, I’m unable to receive the local public television station.
A few more inquiries came in this week for the day job, so that’s a relief. A couple new man clients contacted me recently and are going through the screening process. In 2009, I hope to turn a greater profit than 2008 and 2007, with a greater emphasis placed on expanding my legitimate business ventures and further reducing my dependency on escort work. So far, things appear to be heading in the right direction.
My personal outlook and position is in a hell of a lot better shape than it was this time last year, though it’s already been said that 2008 was nutso. Still tough to grasp that my undergraduate education is really completed. I keep expecting to have to register for classes or order textbooks, but then I stop and remember. On one hand I can’t help but be very proud of myself, but on the other, I feel a bit lost without my college coursework. My studies weren’t simply a means to an end – they were a major source of entertainment and thought provocation. Being a student was a role I’d embraced most of my life up to October and it’s not one I’m too keen on letting go of now. Makes me think about graduate studies, though I still need a good bit of time away from academia to recharge, study topics of personal interest and pay down the student loans. Maybe someday I’ll feel up to going back…
It feels like I’m nearing the end of one chapter in life and entering the successive “what now?” phase. Overall, my life’s in a fairly content spot (save for a couple of rough patches) with the day job performing better than initially expected and escorting shifting forms and taking a backseat in terms of energy expended. In fact, I don’t feel like an escort anymore. Considering how rare these days I go out to dinner with a client, I’m not sure the term applies to me any longer. Nowadays I prefer to refer to myself as simply an Adult Companion since that seems more accurate and fitting. Booting out most of my clients and becoming more discerning was probably the best decision I could have made last year. It’s difficult not to burn out on a job like that, especially when the type of men you see are wearing on your nerves. Those I’ve agreed to keep seeing are all fair with me and comfortable to spend time with. With all of the ebbs and flows over these past few years, I still appreciate the comfort of their company too.
Life could be much worse. It’s improved more than I can possibly describe from what it felt like a decade ago. Likely it won’t stay as it is now for all that long, not to be pessimistic, but I plan to use this time to my advantage. Sorry but I’m just not one to get overly excited about good times since they always prove to be short-lived. I just enjoy them quietly and stay more to myself usually. Call it a personality quirk.
I’m gearing up to start cooking more often once again. Today was just a frozen stir-fry-ish meal but soon I’ll prepare a batch of crockpot chili for myself and a friend. Recipes are fun so long as they aren’t too complicated. My brain can only function so far into the domestic realm. lol Gardening was never a strong point either.
Things could be worse, despite the sad patches we’re dealing with already. I wish those weren’t there but perhaps this will pose as a valuable learning experience for all involved. We’ll see. Only time can tell.
I’m tired and ready to play a couple of games online before heading to bed.
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