Ugh. I hate it when dates don’t go as well as planned. He was young, early 30s, single, good-looking, and good in bed. He was also polite and accommodating. What’s not to like, right? It wasn’t him, it’s me.
The last thing I want to do is lecture my clients, but damn, I had to ask if he realized that starting out with favoring this sort of relationship with women (in the absence of regular “civie” dating) will ruin him for future relationships. No, it’s none of my business. I’m an asshole for even bringing it up. But you have to know that tit-for-tat exchanges within a society obsessed with the self has led to people objectifying virtually everything, most tragically one another. If you only know women intimately in this capacity, how realistic are your expectations for future lovers? Like I said to him, you can’t just lay something down and get what you want, it’s not that easy in real relationships.
I’m sure he knows. He’s been on the planet a few more years than I have and he seemed like a smart man. Maybe we just weren’t compatible. Physically sure, but like I told him, I wasn’t sure what to do with him. Yeah, I know, fuck him, but besides that, we had little to talk about outside of his trade. Which is fine…but something just made me nervous. Certainly nothing wrong about him or his mannerism, just something within me didn’t feel right. Not sure why.
It was one of those dates where I wished I’d just shut up but couldn’t seem to. lol Luckily I didn’t say too much, but whatever, he admitted to feeling nervous too. It was my nervous energy emanating, I know.
Maybe I’m being too hard on myself and this is all part of easing back into this lifestyle and profession. Or maybe I’m a spazz.
I pride myself on being a better escort and today I really wasn’t on my game. How embarrassing.
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