Hey blog. Not feeling too well today. Sick with a cold. I wanted to mention something that’s been on my mind lately. Ya know, as soon as I type something, immediately I’m forced to reconsider my assertions. One in particular that’s been bothering me relates with my “escorted” clients and how my perception is warped by my own life experiences, causing me to take leaps at times that are broadly overly generalized and unnecessary. Sometimes this is intentional to save time explaining the various exceptions, but in certain topics I realize my own bias and skepticism color my thinking, resulting in the demonization of clients’ motives. Some parts I maintain are accurate, but one that’s been bothering me is the whore/daughter comparison and my tendency to stereotype the clients’ related motives and behaviors. One might assume a direct correlation must exist for a man to seek company with a woman nearly the same age as his daughter or granddaughter, leading one perhaps to surmise that something dark and sinister is at play. Indeed, in some cases this is true, though I must argue there are plenty of cases where it is not.
This continues to perplex me as I don’t understand how this sort of arrangement wouldn’t cause discomfort or guilt feelings for those possessing innocent intentions, at least over time as they grow to know their provider and acknowledge similarities between her and his own child’s friends close in age. But then again, apparently there’s a great deal we (or at least, I) don’t understand about human sexuality, attraction, and companionship arrangements. It’s not so simple, so black-and-white, to denounce these clients as harboring dark, inappropriate desires and/or a lack of respect for all women, including their own wives and daughters. Too much evidence and experiential knowledge disputes this simplistic assumption, even if I occasionally entertain it in times of anger and frustration. Too many of my clients are decent, upstanding people for this theory to be applied sweepingly and make sense.
So, men are attracted to young women. No big shocker there. My main gripe is with those who couldn’t care less how they impact the lives of the young people they come into contact with, particularly those under the age of 21 who aren’t emotionally mature enough to deal with all the adult world has in store for them. Yes, we learn and grow from the experiences (bad or good) we partake in, however, this doesn’t negate responsibility on the part of those with more life experience and (supposed) wisdom as too many seem to think. I likely won’t ever understand why a man would seek to protect his own daughter from a reality he creates for someone else’s daughter (or wife, or sister, etc.), but again, not all of the men fit in this category or engage in behavior they deem abhorrent for their own loved ones to engage in. Plenty do, sure, hence why double standards remain the norm. However, there truly are many exceptions worth noting, and this time around in exploring this industry I am far more careful in deciding who I will or won’t agree to see, with the express intention of reducing my likelihood of coming up against questionable and/or unsavory characters who do fit the stereotype in one way, shape, or form.
My favorite client came to mind earlier and poses a challenge to my little theories, so I had to state on here that my past aggressive writings served the purpose of venting and shouldn’t be taken as complete, unchanging opinions. My opinions change as my perspective evolves, so anything stated previously on this or any other topic should be taken with a grain of salt.
I needed to say this because too often it seems my words are condemning clients across the board, when this truly isn’t the case. Yes, my skepticism and cynicism remains, but I also accept that the reality I experience isn’t completely outside of my control. The “hobby,” like so many other things, in many cases is what you make it. Not in totality since we can’t control the actions of others, but we have a great measure of power in deciding our involvement within its ranks, save for being destitute and desperate. But not everyone who chooses to stick with sex work is facing dire straits. Some are. Some aren’t. Some were originally when they started and no longer are. Once in, it isn’t that difficult to get a handle on your financial situation, assuming your personality and physical appearance attracts interest and you earn enough to care for yourself and any dependents. So, speaking from where I stand now, I do believe a greater measure of control is completely within the realm of possibilities and indeed appears necessary to stave off repeated burnout and gain a sense of stable footing to enable long-term involvement.
Eventually I will write another blog entry going into more detail on what power we have in conducting our business. There’s a post already written about it, but I’d like to elaborate and add security considerations.
Anyway, that’s enough for today. I’m very tired and need to go lie down. Hope all is well out there in cyberspace.
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