Okay, not to be weird following the psychiatry posts, but a thought dawned on me the other day: Am I a gay man trapped in a woman’s body? LOL Makes ya wonder. Then again, I’m beginning to believe my sexual gender preference is more flexible than even I initially assumed. For years it has sufficed to refer to myself as “leaning hetero” since that pretty much sums it up, but now I don’t know anything anymore. Not sure what’s novelty and curiosity or true intrigue. It really does come down to the individual for me, not the type or gender necessarily. Not even sure if I’m looking for anything at all aside from what I already have.
My clients make me happy. It would be nice to have more female companionship in my personal life, that I do know. It can only be friendship at this point regardless. The men in my personal life are satisfying and I have no longing to bring in additional men, neither am I closed off to new ones as friends so long as they’re cool. Just not having a strong desire to have a man of my own at this moment. It would conflict with other stuff I’m trying to do.
Never really dawned on me that sexuality was quite this ambiguous. haha Or that my passion for sex would simmer down in my 20s. Here’s waiting for a new peak in my 30s! Or before then, preferably. This isn’t to cut down my current sexual partners, just that I need something to jolt me from time to time (healthy jolts preferably) to re-awaken my senses. Hell, who doesn’t?
I’m tired and can’t continue this conversation much longer. Got a gym training sessions tomorrow afternoon and have to make sure I’m well-rested. Just so it’s known, my sexuality doesn’t worry me. It simply is what it is, whatever that may be. I see no point in trying to label it. Why can’t a person just like who they like and leave it at that?
‘Night.
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